Is This Week Over Yet?

This week has just been one giant fail. I have been zapped of energy and for the first time EVER since I started training for my triathlon and half marathon, I've really slacked off with my workouts. I'm pretty disappointed in myself. Tuesday I had muscle conditioning, but went drinking that night instead of swimming or cycling (my schedule had swimming on it, but I was going to cycle instead since the weather was so nice....but ended up doing neither). Yesterday my yoga class was cancelled (rescheduled for tomorrow) and then last night I ended up not running because I was too tired and just not feeling great at all...so I didn't work out AT ALL yesterday. :\ Today I have muscle conditioning again, and weight training is the only thing on my schedule for today....but I really should swim since I didn't on Tuesday. But I have too much going on tonight, there just won't be any time. So......I have a feeling that after such a lazy week, tomorrow's 8 mile run is really going to suck.

Reality really set in last night. I drove up to Liberty to see my chiropractor and after the 20 minute drive there, I looked to see that the drive was right at about 13 miles. Um....I'm going to be running 13.1 miles in exactly 1 month from today!!! OMG - that is like running all the way from my house to my chiropractor's office in Liberty! WOW....am I nuts or what?!?! And if it takes me nearly 20 minutes to drive it, I can't even imagine how long it will take to RUN it! I just don't know. I've been having a lot of anxiety over it as of late....

In other news, March Madness has begun!!! Brandon and I are heading the bracket pool here at work. We've got quite a few people involved, which always makes it more exciting. I think our pot is going to be over $150 this year. It will be interesting to see how everything turns out.

The next few days are going to be insanely busy...so I'm pretty much looking forward to Sunday getting here so I can rest. I've been having a lot of anxiety lately and I think I'm just spreading myself too thin.

Have I also mentioned lately how much I love my husband?? Cuz that is definitely worth mentioning. There's really no one else in this world that could put up with my shit. He's so good to me and I really am lucky to have him. I've been struggling with some things lately and I just don't know what I would do without him. He truly holds me together without even realizing it.

Training, Training, and more Training...

You can read all about it in my fitness blog: JourneyToABetterMe. Basically, my triathlon training is taking over my life. This is a good thing, it really is....it's just exhausting and I feel like I haven't spent much time with my family, especially Harper. She's been in bed or about to go to bed the last 2 nights when I got home. Factor in that she takes an evening nap as well, and I pretty much don't see her much on the week nights. :( But the good news is that I'm getting off work at noon today and will get the rest of the afternoon with that little nugget baby, so that's good!

Life has just been so busy lately! Saturday I had group practice. Then I showered and ran errands. Then I went out for dinner and drinks with the girls for Kristen's birthday. Sunday was a lazy day, and then Monday started another crazy week... Work, chiropractor visits every night all the way up in Liberty, training, running Rylie to this, that, and the other. Tuesday was her dance night and I had to cycle and swim. Yesterday she had gymnastics and I ran 6.3 miles. And tonight we are having Josh and Kristen over for dinner, which I'm totally excited about. I'm just ready for a day off!

I'm sore today, as can be expected. It's a good sore, don't get me wrong...but I'm just so TIRED. Not sleepy, but my body is just worn out. And the depressing part is that all this working out is making me soooo stinkin hungry all the time! With the way I'm eating, I'm never going to lose any weight! Here's what I ate yesterday:

apple
bowl of instant oatmeal
raw veggies (carrots, celery, green peppers, broccoli) with light ranch
salad (romaine lettuce, spinach, carrots, celery, green peppers, purple cabbage, green onion, raddishes) with homemade dressing: 1 part organic balsamic vinegar, 1 part organic olive oil, 1 part Bragg's liquid aminos
Smart Ones frozen entree - lasagna
Shot blocks & mona vie (electrolyte cubes & energy shot) before run - 100 calories each
raw almonds
tuna helper & asperagus for dinner
banana & peanutbutter after evening run

And I seriously think I ate more things that I just can't remember.... I feel like I'm just eating around the clock! I want to lose the rest of this baby weight and I really thought I would with all this training...but I'm coming to realize that my body now needs more fuel....so I'm not sure how that's going to work out.

Anyway, I hope everyone is having a great week! Sorry I've neglected this blog this week. The other 2 have been pretty up-to-date though. Thanks for stopping by! :)

My Birthday Weekend: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good:

Friday (my actual birthday) I came to work with a ridiculously decorated desk! Srsly...out of control! Glitter everywhere, streamers, signs, banners, you name it. The glitter is still here. Still. Out.Of.Control. I had 3 cards and lots of birthday wishes all day via text, Facebook, myspace, etc.

Friday night Randy fixed me a really nice dinner of shrimp with garlic sauce and veggies over rice. He gave me some perfume and Rylie and Harper gave me a necklace. We spent the evening as a family watching Madagascar 2.

Saturday night Randy took me to dinner at Bristol Seafood Grille at The Power & Light District. He then had a huge surprise party waiting for me at O'Douds at Zona Rosa with all of my closest friends that he had apparently been planning for MONTHS. It was AMAZING!!!!! Drinks were flowing, good times were had by all, and I definitely consumed enough shots to kill a small horse.

The Bad:

A handful of my close friends failed to call me...text me...or send me any sort of birthday love whatsoever. Talking about some of my CLOSEST friends over the past few years. Pretty hurtful.

A blizzard decided to come through Friday night after a week of 60 degree weather and it went ahead and deposited 6 inches of snow on the ground.

I had a raging hangover on Sunday that actually didn't occur until LATE in the day due to the fact that I was still pretty much drunk for the first half.

I woke up at 8:30 am on Sunday after just 6 hours of sleep and never did get a nap the rest of the day.

The Ugly:

Due to the previously mentioned weather conditions, Randy, the girls, and I were all involved in a wreck on the way to take the girls to my brother-in-law's house for the night. No one was seriously injured, but it started the evening on a sour note. We had to get towed, my car is totalled (I've only had it for 10 months), we ended up forgetting my camera in the car (we had others that got used, so fear not!), we were extremely late for our dinner reservations, and all night we were re-living the wreck in our heads. Our addrenaline was so strong, neither of us ate much at dinner. It was just crazy.

Due to the wreck, Randy and I both took yesterday off of work. We are extremely sore and had a lot to deal with yesterday including filing an insurance claim, getting a rental car, cleaning out my car, going to the chiropractor, and going to the doctor. My neck is pretty messed up and considering that I already have 2 herniated discs AND had some bad injuries from the wreck I was in LAST year, I'm basically going to have even more problems than before....

Randy and I also got into a hellacious fight at the end of the night Saturday night...all over a misunderstanding. I cried. But...it's all good now, everything got cleared up.

Oh yeah and our tab (for just me and Randy) was over $200. That was just at the bar. Did NOT include dinner....

So, there you have it. Overall, it was a GREAT night, despite a few hiccups. I have a ton of pics (thanks to friends) to post later. Now I'm just trying to recover....in more ways than one...

Good-bye 20's, Hello 30's

As I sit here tonight, sipping my wine and reflecting on the past decade of my life, I have come to realize that this is, in fact, the very last day of my 20's. Wow....I started looking back at the last 10 years of my life and I've realized how far I've come. Then I started to think back to where I was the last day of my teenage years, and can you believe it - I actually remember that day! I was in California with my friend Charren and our boyfriends at the time. It was a trip to celebrate my 20th birthday! We arrived the day before my birthday and over the next few days we visited Disneyland, Universal Studios, and I went to the ocean for my very first time! My 20's were exciting years. Years of many accomplishments and firsts. They were also years a much struggle. But I have grown so much over the past decade. So I would like to take a minute to look back at some of the highs and lows of the past 10 years of my life:

20 years old: I celebrated my 20th birthday in LA. It was my first trip to California, my first trip to the ocean, and such a glorious and happy time for me. I was in college and about to embark on many journeys. That year, I did a lot of traveling. I went on my first (and only!) cruise, I visited the desert for the very first time (Arizona), and I later moved away from home for the very first time - to Tucson, Arizona. The only friend from home to visit me in the short year that I lived there was my life-long friend Melissa, and boy did we have fun! While living away from everything familiar to me, I finally started to discover who I was. I grew so much that year.

21 years old: I celebrated my 21st birthday in Vegas. I was living in Arizona at the time and again, my boyfriend at the time and I met up with my good friend Charren and her boyfriend at the time in Vegas. I moved back home around the 1 year anniversary of being away. My trusted friend Melissa - best friend since 2nd grade - flew out to help me move home and welcomed me into her house as a roomie once we got back. Wow - the time we lived together was AWESOME! We partied our @$$es off!!! We were finally legal to drink and it was the first time I had really ever been single and boy did we take advantage of both! What a wild year that was!

22 years old: I celebrated my 22nd birthday in New Orleans at Mardi Gras. My birthday in '01 just happened to be on Mardi Gras and I had a friend whose mother lived in New Orleans. We road tripped down there - 13 college fraternity guys and me & my girlfriend Dee. Wow....talk about insanity! 22 was a crazy year for me, to say the least. It started out carefree and fun...but ended with some challenges. I was laid off from my job and turned to partying to fill the void. It got a little out of hand, to say the least, and there was a lot of drama that followed. I was diagnosed with depression and have battled it off and on ever since...but finally being diagnosed after YEARS of struggling was actually a good thing so that I could finally be treated. I moved out of Melissa's house and our friendship suffered for awhile. I did, however, return to college after 2 years off and I took it VERY seriously, even making the dean's list. 2 months before my 23rd birthday I found out I was pregnant. It was pretty much the shock of a lifetime.

23 years old: I celebrated my 23rd birthday by going to dinner with my mom, dad, and sister. I had just broken the news to my family that I was pregnant. They could not have been more supportive and to this very day I realize how truly blessed I am to have such a loving and supportive family. At the end of spring semester I moved back in with my mom and dad and the day before classes started that fall I gave birth to my beautiful daughter Rylie. I missed just 2 days of classes and then returned to my senior year in full force. I took a full load of 18 hours plus interned. My life really turned around after having Rylie.

24 years old: To this very day I still laugh at this, but I suffered a "mid-life crisis" the week of my 24th birthday. I think it has to do with the fact that other than when I was pregnant on my 23rd birthday, all my birthdays prior to that had been HUGE - I mean, I took trips and partied my little tail off. When I turned 24, I realized that I was a mother (a single mother at that) and that those days were behind me. I hibernated for about a week and didn't answer my phone at all. I later came out of it, but finally went back on meds for my depression. I later graduated (with honors!!) from college that year and just a few weeks after graduation, I met a guy at a party in Manhattan. We were introduced by a mutual friend and instantly hit it off. He accepted the fact that I had a baby and somehow I just knew we were meant to be together. My relationship with Randy grew so quickly. It was so magical and as if we fell in love overnight. Even though he lived 2 hours away from me in Kansas City, we saw each other EVERY SINGLE weekend from the day we met until the day we moved in together just 9 months later...

25 years old: 25 was a monumentally HUGE year for me! So many life altering events happened that year! Rylie and I had just moved to Kansas City to be with Randy and a month later we were engaged!! And not long after that my little 18 month old Rylie randomly started calling Randy "Daddy." Neither of us had ever encouraged it or even taught her that word....but he just came home from work one day and her eyes lit up and she yelled out "DADDY!" He has been Daddy ever since... That summer I began working for the company that I work for to this very day. I've really made a career for myself there and hope to finish that career out with this very company. Randy and I were also married that year on the beach of Key Largo after a short 7 month engagement and just 16 months of knowing each other. 40 of our friends and family joined us, including Melissa (my best friend since 2nd grade) and Charren (my life-long traveling buddy).

26 years old: My 26th birthday was a weekend long event of celebrating. Randy and I had a party at our duplex that Friday night and then a group of us went out that Saturday night. It was insane. Rylie started taking dance that year, shortly after turning 3. That year was a year of ups and downs. The highlight was purchasing our first home. The low point was losing my best friend Nick. He was an electrical lineman and he went down to Louisiana after Hurricane Katrina to help restore power. He was electricuted and died on September 12, 2005. I miss him every day of my life and still struggle with his death all the time.

27 years old: Randy and I were supposed to go to Austin, Texas for my 27th birthday but everything fell apart that week. Rylie got horribly sick...then Randy got the flu...and my friend Christine, who we were supposed to meet in Austin, got sick as well. It just wasn't meant to be. So I went out that Friday with my good friend Brandon and again that Saturday with my girl Jennie. We had fun anyway and some great times happened that year. Unfortunately, Randy lost his job in the spring of that year. He tried to take advantage of the situation by getting into the mortgate business....but the market just wasn't that good. With me being the only one making a regular paycheck for the next 18 months, we came very close to losing our house and we truly struggled for a very long time. Money was tight, times were tough, and it's a wonder that we made it through all of that still together. But I was blessed to receive a promotion that year and many opportunities came my way at work. We were also able to enroll Rylie in a Montissori school, despite our financial struggles. We always made sure to put Rylie first.

28 years old: My 28th birthday came after 2 consecutive months of not leaving the house other than to go to work. My weekends were spent in bed and I was thoroughly depressed. I was still suffering from the loss of Nick and I was just in pieces. Randy finally forced me to see a psychiatrist and get back on medications. My birthday was my first time out in a LONG time and I actually had a great time. I also quit smoking that weekend (2 years and counting of being smoke-free!!!). Randy and I finally got our finances back together that year and were finally starting to live a life of being caught up on our bills and not struggling for the first time in quite awhile. Near the end of the year we found out we were going to have a baby - after over 2 years of trying! AND, we found out EXACTLY 6 years to the day that I found out I was having Rylie...AND it was also Randy's birthday when we found out!

29 years old: My 29th birthday was spent pregnant, of course. Later that year, our beautiful Harper joined us and made us a happy family of 4 just 1 week exactly before Rylie turned 6. Rylie started kindergarten after 2 years of Montissori and was at the top of the class, being one of the only children that already knew how to read. She also started gymnastics that year and advanced quickly. I really learned a lot after having my second child. My true friends are still by my side and many others lost interest once I was no longer able to party with them like had in the past. Randy and I grew sooo much closer. He did EVERYTHING during my pregnancy - cleaned, shopped, waited on me, he even got up in the night with Harper when she was born - and not once has he ever complained. This past year has taught me more than most of my other years combined. I have learned that I have the best husband I could have ever even dreamed of having. And I have learned that my true friends are some of the best people in the world.

Tomorrow I turn 30 and I just know that the next decade of my life is going to be AMAZING!!!! I already have so much to look forward to! Harper will celebrate her first birthday this year! Rylie will turn 7! Randy and I are planning a trip to Mexico for our 5 year anniversary (with my good friend Charren and her husband - who I introduced her to)! AND I am going to do my very first triathlon in June!!! Life is good, and I really have to wonder if there is any way it could ever possibly get any better than this!!!!!!!!!!!

And now I have to wonder if the night before my 40th birthday if I will be sitting somewhere remembering this very night. And if that happens, I hope I remember how wonderful and happy and truly blessed I feel at this exact moment. Through all the struggles, joys, challenges, blessings, I finally feel like I know who I am and I am finally realizing how wonderful life is.

So at this very moment, I admit to all of you, that I am not in the least bit reluctant to turn 30 years old tomorrow. I am actually looking forward to it and am ready to embrace what my 30's have in store for me!

Frustration Consumes Me

A) I went shopping again last night and STILL have no shirt to wear out for my birthday this weekend. :\

2) We still don't have a home yet for Cody (aka Stray Lab). Double :\

I went to the mall last night in a last minute attempt to find a shirt to wear out for my birthday this weekend and still....nothing. I'm so frustrated. I'm going to try one more place tonight. If I can't find something, I don't know what I'm gonna do...... :(

Last night was a busy one. I tanned right after work (trying to look skinnier for my bday, lol). Then ran to the mall as soon as Rylie got home from school. After that, I popped some chicken enchiladas in the oven (I had cooked them awhile back and froze them) and then headed to the gym to swim laps while Randy stayed home and fed the girls. I swam a whopping 22 laps!!! Then headed home to eat an collapse on the couch with a drink. I'm pretty sore today - mainly my neck, shoulders, and back. Swimming is such a great workout.

The rest of the week is going to be pretty busy. I feel like my life is a whirlwind right now....

Nothing to blog about....

Life hasn't been too exciting as of late. I was sick this week, so I haven't really done much with myself. It's unfortunate too, since I've been really focused on preparing for my triathlon training and now I've gone an entire week without working out. It sucks that I really had a lot of momentum and now it's gone.... But I also have patellar tendonitis and my coach advised that I quit running until team practice begins (only 8 days away!!!) so I guess it all kinda worked out. But I plan to hit the rec tomorrow and swim a few laps and put a few miles on the treadmill.

Today is my dad's birthday, so we're hitting the road and heading home for the weekend. I haven't seen the fam since the week of Christmas, so that'll be nice. Plus, The Militia and I are gonna hook up and work on The Bung Blog - http://thebungblog.blogspot.com/ bitches! Read it, learn it, live it, love it!

This week has really been the slowest week I've had in a minute. Nothing too exciting to report. Oh wait, Harper finally learned to roll over! That fat nugget took her sweet time - she's 5 months old already, LOL.

Oh, and the Rylie got invited to join the team at gymnastics. The up side of that is that you have to be invited by the owner of the gym to join the team. It means they see potential in her and want her to start competing. The down side is that she would have to put in a lot more hours at the gym and she would also have to give up dance as we cannot afford for her to be in both if she triples up on time at gymnastics. While I am super excited for her, I'm also thinking "SHE'S ONLY IN KINDERGARTEN, people!!!!" That's just a lot for a 6-year-old to take on. I want her to do gymnastics because she enjoys it. I'm worried that it will no longer be fun if we push her too hard or too far. For now, we're gonna finish out this school year with what we have in line at the moment because we've already paid for her dance recital fee and costume. Maybe this summer we can try out the team and see where things go from there. If she likes it, she'll have to forego dance at point....after putting 4 years into it. I dunno....we'll see.

I guess that's about it for now.

I really think I need to make a list of things I wanna do before I die....and then actually start working on accomplishing the stuff on the list, one thing at a time. I want to be able to reflect back on my life and feel a sense of accomplishment and not feel like my life has just passed me by. I think doing this triathlon this year is a great start.

But yeah, I think I need to start working on a BID (Before I Die) list. I think one of my teachers in high school made us do that...but I'm sure what I would come up with now would be a lot different than it was back then. And I'm sure I've done a lot of the things that were on there then, like get married, have kids, buy a house, graduate from high school, graduate from college, go sky diving, see the ocean, go to Mardi Gras, etc.

Hmmmm.....I'm really going to need to put some thought into this.....

I'm becoming a blog whore....

Okay, so I've got the bung blog going and that's dedicated to all things bung....and I've got my fitness blog to track my training and health regimine for the year. I want to keep each of those separate from my everyday life....so I've created this blog simply for journaling about life, day-to-day activites, how I'm doing, and how I'm getting by. It can definitely be tied to the other two...but more than anything, it's just for my own personal release.

I'll start off by getting up to speed on 2009 so far. Today is only the 10th day of the year and I must say it's been a very productive year to date. I have been very focused on my workouts and diet so that I can prepare for my triathlon (more about that in ashleysfitnessblog.blogspot.com) and I have successfully lost 7 pounds already. I've also been working an excessive amount of overtime, but in the end it keeps me busy and will be nice padding for the pocketbook.

The year hasn't been completely perfect, though. Both the girls have had ear infections this week and Randy has been sick as well. Yes, all three of them have been to see the doctor and our medical expenses have already been more than what we've budgeted for this month. And worst of all, we had to have our boxer Nikki put down last Saturday after she suffered a stroke and several seizures. Randy rushed her to the emergency vet to discover she had a brain tumor. :( He had raised her since she was a puppy. It was hard on our entire family, but especially on Randy. She was his baby and he's had her since he was in high school.

In addition, our other dog Cooper had to have surgery this week to drain and repair his ear from a hematoma. He is recovering well, though, and we hope to adopt a lab within the next few months to help keep him company. Poor Cooper has never been the only dog in the house before, so we will be looking forward to adding to our family in the months to come.

I really have great feelings about 2009. I have a lot of goals I want to accomplish and a lot of fun things planned for both myself and my family. I am excited to see what this year has in store. I feel like 2008 really opened my eyes up to a lot of things and I feel like I am finally seeing my life much more clearly than before. This gives me a great sense of peace, love, and satisfaction. I have a feeling that 2009 is going to be one of the greatest years of my life to date.